Thursday, August 24, 2006

Horror Happens


I've been running around a lot lately, and thus have been away from my home base computer on which I store my accumulative list of links. Therefore, this installment of “Horror Happens” will be more like a gauntlet of brutality, rather than one quick punch in the face.

- I find the term "hybrid dogs" or "designer dogs" to be rather amusing as it seems to have been created by people with far too much time and money who wish to justify the de-evolution of breeds (it's even funnier when you consider that it took people with far too much time and money to create specialized breeds to begin with). Cockerpoo? Yorkese? Just call it what it is: a mutt. A puppy by any other name will be just as cute, people.
At any rate, this poor creature found dead in Maine might be an example of cross-breeding gone wrong.
Or it could be a demon alien mutant werewolf.
Your call.

- Wall Street has coke. Madison Avenue has myrrh.
Ad Industry Turns to Necromancy for Inspiration
Next news item to break: The White House sniffs glue.

- I'm not sure whether this is a daily column or not, but the NY Post seems to have their own list of odd stories. It reads as well as one would expect something from the Post to read.
Weird but True.
Here's one they should include in their next column: "I just got back from buying a treadmill, and BOY! are my legs tired.... get it? My legs are tired? Treadmill? Get it?"
Get it?

- Anothing groundbreaking story from the Post: Teenage girls are nuts.
Seems like the girls triumphed in the end, though. They've already sold the movie rights.

- I had a nightmare a few nights ago about a New York in which the only two newspapers in circulation were the New York Post and the New York Daily News. I woke up in a cold sweat.
That having been said, purely insane, lunatic, bloodthirsty bedding salesmen with an Eraserhead fetish goes on a joy ride with the head of the world's nicest teacher in the whole world after chopping up the unbelievably nice teacher who was incredibly nice.
Allegedly.
The Times confirms that million-dollar gated communities normally don't engender psycho-killers. (Only politicians)
NBC confirms that porn-watchers are innately killers.

- A day or so later, I read two articles that could only make my nightmare worse.
DVD bootlegger? Or independent filmmaker?
Sensitive lesbians? Or a murderous gang of man-hating midgets?
Hate crime? Or player-hating crime?
NY Daily News? Or New York Post?
I am afraid to sleep now.

- Sweeney Todd, the best opera/musical ever written about a murderous barber, closes on Broadway September 3rd.
Go see it while you still can!

- I will refrain from making any "having a Jewish family for dinner" comments on this one...
A memorable name is not necessarily good
The jokes in bad taste abound.

1 comment:

トルーマン said...

Oh yeah, the chupacabra! That was big news back in the sticks. Maine doesn't get much crazier news than that. Apparently it was some kind of coyote-dog thing. It was eating pets, though. Freaky. o_O

I wish I could go see Sweeney Todd. ;_;