Thursday, August 24, 2006

Fuzzy Puppy Bunny Cookie Stab-Stab!

I came across three YouTube videos which I felt exemplify the fact that horror does not mandate the use of guts and gore; something seemingly normal can be creepier than the bloodiest torture scene.

Firstly, I find sorrority girls to be frightening, per se.
These girls could foster a phobia.

To quote the creator of this horrorshow, "These are my friends in college. They make music videos to songs and stuff and I love it. I eat them up - the videos, not my friends."
Sure, honey. Sure.

Next up: I actually can't decide whether this one is cute or not. There are moments while watching it that I find myself laughing delightedly... and moments that I find myself laughing nervously.

I don't know... I just don't know...

And finally, this one was presented to me by my lovely friend Carly.
It scares me so much I want to cry.

... mommy...

Horror Happens

I've been running around a lot lately, and thus have been away from my home base computer on which I store my accumulative list of links. Therefore, this installment of “Horror Happens” will be more like a gauntlet of brutality, rather than one quick punch in the face.

- I find the term "hybrid dogs" or "designer dogs" to be rather amusing as it seems to have been created by people with far too much time and money who wish to justify the de-evolution of breeds (it's even funnier when you consider that it took people with far too much time and money to create specialized breeds to begin with). Cockerpoo? Yorkese? Just call it what it is: a mutt. A puppy by any other name will be just as cute, people.
At any rate, this poor creature found dead in Maine might be an example of cross-breeding gone wrong.
Or it could be a demon alien mutant werewolf.
Your call.

- Wall Street has coke. Madison Avenue has myrrh.
Ad Industry Turns to Necromancy for Inspiration
Next news item to break: The White House sniffs glue.

- I'm not sure whether this is a daily column or not, but the NY Post seems to have their own list of odd stories. It reads as well as one would expect something from the Post to read.
Weird but True.
Here's one they should include in their next column: "I just got back from buying a treadmill, and BOY! are my legs tired.... get it? My legs are tired? Treadmill? Get it?"
Get it?

- Anothing groundbreaking story from the Post: Teenage girls are nuts.
Seems like the girls triumphed in the end, though. They've already sold the movie rights.

- I had a nightmare a few nights ago about a New York in which the only two newspapers in circulation were the New York Post and the New York Daily News. I woke up in a cold sweat.
That having been said, purely insane, lunatic, bloodthirsty bedding salesmen with an Eraserhead fetish goes on a joy ride with the head of the world's nicest teacher in the whole world after chopping up the unbelievably nice teacher who was incredibly nice.
The Times confirms that million-dollar gated communities normally don't engender psycho-killers. (Only politicians)
NBC confirms that porn-watchers are innately killers.

- A day or so later, I read two articles that could only make my nightmare worse.
DVD bootlegger? Or independent filmmaker?
Sensitive lesbians? Or a murderous gang of man-hating midgets?
Hate crime? Or player-hating crime?
NY Daily News? Or New York Post?
I am afraid to sleep now.

- Sweeney Todd, the best opera/musical ever written about a murderous barber, closes on Broadway September 3rd.
Go see it while you still can!

- I will refrain from making any "having a Jewish family for dinner" comments on this one...
A memorable name is not necessarily good
The jokes in bad taste abound.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Torture, Kill or Do?

Reading a recent post on PR Differently, I thought it might be fun to do a weekly Ick! Ack! Eek! version of the "Marry, Kill or Do?" game.
Yes, I know I only changed the first option... but the other two are already perfectly pertinent to the theme of this blog (why are you looking at me that way? what kind of sex have you been having?).

Instructions are as follows: Each week I will list the names of three individuals. You will consider which of said three you would rather torture, which you would rather kill and which you would rather do.
Then post your decision in the comments.

This is SOLELY for the sake of silliness. I am NOT listing the names of people I want to kill or torture; as for enjoying them in the Biblical sense, I deny nothing. For those of you who post responses, those responses are not to be taken seriously by other readers... the entire nature of this game is irreverant fun.

For this week's Torture, Kill or Do, let's consider the male leads of three films opening this weekend:

Samuel L. Jackson (of Snakes on a Plane)

Justin Long (of Accepted; also of the Mac commercials fame)

Edward Norton (of The Illusionist)

Oh, and guys - you are not admitting to being gay by responding that you would "do" one of them. I swear.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Killing Spree

There is quite a lot to occupy the horror-inclined in the next week. Here are some tips on fun events:

I will be going to the Bodies Exhibit, down by the South Street Seaport. (To those of you who read my last Horror Happens entry: yes, I'm a big fat hypocrite when it comes to seeing something spooky!)

Location: The Exhibition Centre at the South Street Seaport
11 Fulton Street 2nd Fl.
New York, NY 10038
Tickets: 888-926-3437 or here
Hours: 10 am - 10 pm (last admission @ 9pm)
Show ends in December! Go while you still can!

I got this tip from the Gothamist: In the more straight forward, Belgian horror Calvaire (The Ordeal) a traveling singer ends up at a remote inn one foggy night. You may think you already know how this one ends, but the road there is paved with some major creepy.(imdb profile)
I'll probably be going Sunday. I'm not sure how long the theater is showing this movie, so go soon!

Another great film to catch soon: Lunacy (Ian Svankmajer)
I'll be writing a review on this intriguing Czek film soon; but see it ASAP regardless as it's only running until August 22nd.
Location: Film Forum (W Houston St. b/n 6th Ave & Varick)

Need I say more?

Citysol's Solar Powered Film Series - SOYLENT GREEN(imdb profile)
As this is one of my favorite films, I will definitely be in attendence - especially since the screening is environmentally friendly! Woohoo!
Location: Stuyvesant Cove Park (the East River between 18th and 23rd)
Time: Show starts at 9 PM
Price: FREE!

Metropol @ Rififi - a great horror night. Drink. Listen to NYU-ewbies make bad jokes about good horror.
Location: Rififi (11th St. b/n 1st & 2nd Avenues)
Time: 10 PM
Price: FREE with one drink purchase
This week's show: "Day of the Dead" (my personal favorite in the "trilogy"... or what was a trilogy before "Land of the Dead"... poor Bub...)

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Horror Happens

Here is the first installment of a little section I have entitled, “Horror Happens.”
I encounter many news stories and blog entries and other random instances that seem horror-related, but are branded as otherwise. They are prime examples of how horror happens in the real world, not just on screen or in print.
I will refrain from including links about wars presently taking place, terrorism and President Bush as they just seem too obvious.

I have been amassing these pieces for the last week or two, so if a particular link does not work, let me know and I will try to find an alternate source.

- Firstly, we have all heard tales of China’s favored method of abortion (postpartum Glad bags). While this act has been done clandestinely, for the most part, it seems the government is openly approaching the overpopulation of dogs in a similar manner.
The pictures themselves are worth a thousand squirms.
China Orders Mass Slaughter of Dogs

- China makes headlines again. There are some people out there who might actually fall for the argument that this “communist” nation’s media piracy is their attempt to undermine Western capitalism. But someone please explain to me how this Eastern nation’s industrialization of corpses can even pretend to be anything other than a deal with the consumerist devil. Please.
China Turns Out Mummified Bodies for Displays

- The wording of this headline just cracks me up.
The story is pretty horrifying as well:
Teen Declared Dead Plans to Return to School

- Some sick and evil individual decided to leave a treat for some unsuspecting puppy in the park (all dogs are puppies – I don’t care what anyone says to the contrary).
Ham bites dog
Turns out the psycho was just enacting a Santeria ritual. Oh. That’s makes it totally okay, then.
God smites dog

- And here’s a baby-related item: If it’s just a picture, then it’s horrifyingly cute. If it’s dinner, then it’s just horrifying.
Baby corn… baby peas… baby carrots… baby?

- I was reading Consumerist when I came across this little piece. The poster image and headline (invoking “I Spit On Your Grave”) got my attention; however, neither had anything to do with the actual story.
I could not help but chuckle at the thought that the writer was unknowingly likening this instance of corporate evil to being gang-raped and humiliated by hillbillies, then seeking revenge by seducing them and murdering them in compromising sexual positions.
Then again, the article is about the Recording Industry Association of America.
I Spit on Your Grave

- The most horrifying episode of Fear Factor that I have ever seen was the family episode, during which pairs of precocious 10-year-olds and overbearing parents vied against one another, whilst throwing caution (and extremely bad language) to the wind. I was at a loss for words… even now I cannot explain how wrong this program was.
Fear Factor apparently feels differently – they want every child in America to face the same sort of emotionally scarring treatment, either by making them obese and diabetic or by forcing parents to react as the mother in this little anecdote did.
Kid Wants Fear Factor Pops; Mom Freaks Out

- And continuing with food-related items…
If you are squeamish about bugs, or vegan, food can be pretty (gross) in pink.
What’s In My Food?

That’s all for now.
To be posted soon (hopefully):
This week’s events (get ready to bleed your wallet dry - there are oooooodles of things to do)
A very belated review of “The Descent”
A somewhat belated review of “The Pulse”
A kind-of belated review of “Calvaire” & “Lunacy”
The Metropol experience

Monday, August 14, 2006

Manifesto... of sorts

I have a hard time understanding why “Saving Private Ryan” is a war drama and “Night of the Living Dead” is a horror film. What? It’s because there are flesh-eating zombies roaming the countryside in the latter? Oh. Okay. Yeah, that’s much more shocking and gruesome than the actual carnage of World War I.
And don’t get me started on “An Inconvenient Truth.”

I am fascinated by horror.
And not just as it exists in film, literature, art (i.e., realms of imagining). I am intrigued by the underlying elements of horror. The concept of horror. The psychology of horror. The definitions of horror. The taboo of horror. The manifestations of horror in real life.

And indeed, horror exists more in our daily lives than in does in any artistic incarnation (aren’t the most terrifying tales those based on the base nature of man? isn’t horror primarily inspired by mankind’s most gruesome acts?). I am always amused by those who balk at the brutality of “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” while avidly reading tales of war and torture in newspapers; while allowing their children to play video games in which the near-universal objective is to “kill” the enemy (and not just games like “Grand Theft Auto;” even Super Mario Bros. necessitates that you beat King Koopa into the ground); while rubbernecking at the sight of a car wreck or road kill; even while deciding on how best to eliminate their rodent infestation (was it a gentle mind that invented the snap trap or glue trap?).
Okay, the everyday scenarios do not assault our delicate eyes with buckets worth of bloodshed. But that which scares us is not defined by the amount of blood spilled. My boyfriend is quite afraid of rats and ghosts (despite the fact that he doesn’t believe in them… ghosts, that is); he jumps three feet in the air if even a windswept plastic bag passes underfoot late at night. I am a severe claustrophobic; extreme terror for me lies in elevators, storage closets and getting my jacket zipper stuck.
I am even more frightened of human nature at its worst. And regretting. And of myself, at times.

Which I think is at the heart of the issue. It is absurd to censure/shun “horror” (as a genre), which is merely a representation of the worst side of our selves. I think that “horror” can even be a positive thing, as it showcases the atrocities of man… it perhaps exaggerates them to such a degree as to inspire opposite behavior through reactions of shock and disgust and fear. Or perhaps it establishes a self-awareness that allows one to keep the darker side of oneself in check. There is also the argument that it provides catharsis of our innate violent tendencies… I’m not sure where I stand on that one; however, it’s an interesting idea.

The above having been said, I embrace horror.
Through this blog, I intend to examine the full spectrum of this macabre concept – the secular, the spiritual, the cerebral, the absurd, the all-too-real, the extreme and the simple.

If you have any horror-related links, recommendations, ideas, tips, or knowledge of events, I would appreciate hearing about them (drop me comment).

Have a horrifying day!